need to kms
might be wrecking my second relationship because of autism
im not making enough time to actually bond and connect and im not spending enough time focusing on her interests
i try to be a good girlfriend i do everything i can around the house and i always ask her what i can do to help and ask her what i can do to make her happy but i cant actually know the things that do make her happy
i try to remember but it feels like im fucking up the square in the square hole game when i do try and cheer her up with something she likes because its at the wrong time
i always ask her before i make plans if she wants me to stay home instead and she says no its okay if i leave for the weekend and then she says she had a bad time while i was gone but if i stick around to stay with her for the weekend and ask her what she wants to do she doesnt have a lot of ideas
i just dont know what to do, is coming up with cute date ideas something intrinsic to being a good partner
how do i be a good gf
how do i keep my great gf
i have too much stress in my head i have too many thoughts in my head
i wish i could hurt myself again hurting myself feels good i miss that
i miss the part of being alone where no one cared about me so i couldnt disappoint them
i miss the part of being alone where if i had died any day it wouldnt have mattered and life would move on
i wish i wasnt so mentally challenged in ways that are so difficult to understand and detect i feel like my daily life is just running through a mindfield of weird problems i have with my brain i feel so stupid
i dont want to be a bad gf i just want to be a good girlfriend
my only purpose is to give and serve i dont know how i keep fucking it up over and over and over again