I've commited a great sin against my partner. I finished the relationship and will pay for her therapy. I feel no longer human. She forgave me but I just let lust run wild and now she is gone. That event was on 5 days of retention, I know that if my streak was longer this would not have happened. We were drunk and high and we danced all night. I think I'm gonna become permanently celibate. May God have mercy on me

If anyone has any advice or help on permanent celibacy I would greatly appreciate it