In the dying embers of the closed beta test threads, I wonder if you'll see this.

I had a lot of reasons to be wary of you, but in our shared time together I felt like things were fine. You were strange at times, in ways that were memorable enough for me to think about at the very end. At the time, I brushed all of those things off as silly jokes. I can't say I made my best effort, having not initiated that many conversations with you and having only asked you to spend time together a few times. But, I thought that in these upcoming games that we could spend more time together and learn more about each other as friends, and it was something I looked forward to.

At the end of our time together there, you said that you felt like we were quite similar, having had similar experiences and especially with how our birth years were. I was happy you saw me that way, because I felt similarly from our brief time together. I truly did enjoy your company, and I found myself logging in more just to spend more time together with everyone at the end of the guild's lifespan. I never knew who you were until we met, and even though you had a reputation, I understood incredibly well that it's not at all fair to judge or condemn you for fictitious tales from a Mongolian basket-weaving board. And I truly didn't.

I really had hoped that the conclusion that I came to was wrong. Even now, I've spent time every day since that day brooding about the subject, going over everything again and wondering if I really was seeing things and failing to be objective. It would have been better if I had more doubt and was able to just handwave everything, to be ignorant and still see you as a friend. And I ended up calling out to you like that. I just wanted things to stop. I wanted to be wrong, even. I wished you had messaged me directly, or shown an ounce of concern or worry with me, that you so easily feigned to others. But the more I pushed, the more and more convincing it became.