I have grade 4.3 autism and severe schizophrenia, and I live in a lost town in Bosnia and Herzegovina. I can't talk; I'm non-verbal. For the past years I've been living with something that creeps my ass. My mum said that people on the internet would be of so much help for me. She was scared because I screamed and ran naked around the house at night, usually around 3.33am or 6.66am. She wants me out of home because I'm 43 years old now, and she says that I'm a big boy now. I can't even talk. What type of a mother is she!!! I can't believe her; she is the worst!!! >:(

Also, my physical health is declining. I'm balding, I have a hormonal disease that makes me grow bobbies, my penis is curved, and my foreskin is deformed because of my sounding addiction, and I have severe obesity, which is getting worse day by day. So im say all of this for you to be able to understand my situation, for the last few weeks ive been questioning my gender, when i dream i see myself as a thin woman, i dont know if this is because of my hormone condition, also ive been showing interest in woman, so does that make me a lesbian woman? Is it normal to feel trans at my age? I'm so confused; I might kill myself today. :)

So my real problem are my nightmares, I've been dreaming about Gods face, a treath that was on 4chan a few years ago, i poop myself at night because of it, I also see a person with a rounded face, balding (like me), one brow, a big mought and he is usually black and white, he is always smiling at me and he said that he will separate me from my mamu, I tried to keep myself distracted by pornography (usually lesbian BDSM and i sounded myself or perverse family on X/Twitter/XXX...) but it wasnt of much help because my nightmares remainded, i also tried sleeping with my mamu (dad left us in 1990 because he cheated of momy with my mum brother) i also forgot to say that my mom and dad are cousins, mama says that this is the explanation of my conditions. Please help me what do I do?