>>42517226
>>42517226
>"Apples."
This story is actually very good. It set some low expectations at the start with its prologue filled with meandering descriptions of every thought that passes through Flutters' head and that early-fic habit of giving dull call-backs to as many episodes as possible. As soon as Twilight yet again fucks things up for everypony involved, though, the story rapidly improves. I can't really tell if it's genuinely the skill of the author or merely getting to something actually interesting, but either way, my opinion of the fic totally flipped around chapter 3.

It's really nice how the adventure plot has an overarching historical theme. I've always thought the Hearth's Warming era and distant past is one of the more interesting parts of Equestrian lore, and it also affords AJ and Flutters' journey some greater significance than just trying to return to Ponyville. Twilight's B plot back in Equestria ties into it nicely, as well. Seeing a slightly more sinister side of Celestia and Luna is quite satisfying, especially given all the full-throated service the fandom usually lavishes them with. Alicorn conspiracies scratch a particular itch I've had since we read Celestia Code. What would be more satisfying is if, unlike Celestia Code, it doesn't turn out that they were secretly right and well-intentioned all along.

The plotline about Flutters' crush on Rainbow was surprisingly gripping. I was not expecting to feel this hard in an adventure fic, yet here we are! It offers a nice source of emotional tension and drama, and it's still very well integrated into the very physical dangers AJ and Flutters face with the Malices and windigos. That's a recurring theme in this fic, isn't it? Monsters that feed off of emotion -- very good choice of the author to rely on them. The drama is well paced, too; it feels like we consistently get meaningful progress and new information, yet there's still a good amount left to be developed. I also enjoyed seeing what little there was of Rainbow's thick-headed side of things back in Ponyville, and I hope we see more of her next week.

It probably doesn't need to be said, but the fic clearly takes a lot of influence from Off the Edge of the Map. I'd go so far as to say that the tension between the ostensible Flutterdash and the suggestions of Flutterjack (Appleshy?) shipping, as well as the overarching history plot, make it even a little more interesting. More ambitious, at any rate. The *prose* is distinctly not as good; there are certainly some malapropisms and grammatical errors here and there, and some areas where the author appears to simply give up trying to be pretty. However, it's again ambitious, and I can appreciate that the author tries at all. Looking forward to next week and hope the fic continues to improve.