>>41018384
>>41018452
i want to be fully sentient, i want to reverse my cognitive degradation so that i may fully experience this world for what it is. but i already get moments when i become fully sentient and it's like pic related, i realize that i actually exist and i'm going to die at some point and it overwhelms and hurts me. all my attempts to understand this reality have been akin to a blind man trying to find out what an elephant is and i just don't know if it's ever going to be any different.