I, GODsy-sama, EMPEROR of mascot platformers proudly reign over:

CrashED & BURNEDicoot, king of all jobbers and my slave.

BanJOKE, my one and only true jester and other slave.

SWINEro, who I have become far stronger than.

Mega SISSY, who my friends needlessly warned me about.

SHITnic, who I easily ringed out in his super form along with TURDow.

RayKEK, who provided a light workout and first awakened my wish to become strongest in the mascot platformer universe.

WOKEy Kong, who wiped out most of my fodder enemies after I cunningly revived him, JUST AS PLANNED.

Sly JOBBER, whose incomparabily puny sales availed him not a WHIT and was rightfully cast out of relevancy by my hand.

G(AY S)ex, whose hour-long pun duel sessions gave me uncontrollable power level gains so massive even the image training in Bubsy 3D cannot compare.

LATInx the STREET sweeper, for he has my DNA AS WELL AS the inferior genes of my failed mascot SLAVES.

WOPrio Bros., whose ""power"" I am not scared of (I hope they won't kill my beloved punching bags, but I am too amused to help them...)

SUCKboy, who didn't revenge-rape and mindbreak Sony from the sheer agony of killing his series (I did it instead).

SOIJak and KWABster, for I will fuck THEM up once they find out I oneshotted their buttbuddies (God they hope not...)