>>just existing like worms, not hoping for anything anymore?

>This.

>By 30 nothing really hits anymore. Now I live like a pensioner. Not exactly a choice—just the environment. Plan is by 40 (if I even make it) to buy a house out in a village and spend the rest of my life fishing. Don’t need anything else. I’ll self-medicate with herbs. Let the collider blow up for all I care.