Everyone bitches about Grubhub, but I love to fuck both them and the tiny little immigrant restaurants barely meeting their margins

See, very often a new restaurant understands the only way to increase their exposure is by joining Grubhub and paying the exploitive fees associated with it — so in addition to taking it on the chin and paying said fees, they’ll offer outrageous 30% - 40% discounts for “first time customers”

I deliberately choose spots close enough to accept, but definitely not close enough to make the initial delivery timeframe

And wouldn’t you know it — Grubhub gives you $5 off if they’re even a minute late

Rinse and repeat

My favorite part is watching the indentured servant hurry my food to me from space itself… oftentimes they get lost, or have to take a detour

It amounts to peanuts: 40% off, plus $5 for my “troubles”

And before the flyovers start bleating about “slop”, I live in NYC, best food in the entire world

Capitalism works when you’re on the right side :)