Page 20.

God, I just want to get this over with. I watched the Ricardo Lopez [? maybe translated name incorrectly] video last night in full. I feel very inspired to do the same. I can't wait to blow my head off. I really liked seeing Lopez mouth hang open after he shot himself. He looks so happy and at peace. I want to hurry ap and kill myself. I am so mad. I might have to wait for over. A month to get my damn scockwave. I need that suka now! I really want to kill. I have to hold on until I can fully prepare and amass my weapons and ammo. I also want to get a lot of training in with my guns. I want to be able to shoot, reload, and clear jams with confidence! It's hard to care about anything but death anymore. Peoples' words float through my head. Small talk gets turned into a drowning (?? maybe 'droning') noise in my head. My brain listens for important info, then turns the rest into buzzing hum.