None of these characters are agile, athletic nor strong
They are puppets for losers to win as desperately and pathetically as possible
The populace has failed miserably yet again

They just want you to lose

>be playing super sweaty, hardcore, high APM game
>opponent whiffs an attack
>try to whiff punish
>*CLANK*
>try playing footsies
>*CLANK*
Oh right, I forgot I'm playing a children's party game pretending to be a serious fighting game.