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I just can not care about anything. I can't wait to kill! I think I will go to metro today just because I want to be around guns and talk about them. Also an argument for the S (?), I like the option of using short, long, and regular shells or a combination of both! Don't get the spanky (?? really hard to understand, maybe 'spaiki') tube cap for the shockwave. Yeah, it looks scary and you could fuck up someone's face with it, but that probably won't make enough of a difference if I do need to melee (?) someone. Not worth the extra snag points (?) and effort to install. I don't think I will do anything drastic or unredeemable before the attack like quitting my job or selling all my stuff, too much of a red flag and I need to keep up appearance in case my plans fall through and I need to postpone. I need to get things done. My lungs hurt more and more each day. I can feel wierd shit in my chest. And in my ribs.