>>82411810
OP, I relate to you so much. My dad died when I was three, because he got my mom pregnant at age 66.
Having a father's guidance gives you a MASSIVE advantage. Think about it: All your father has to do is say "After you graduate high school, join the Air Force, go to tons of psych and medical appointments, then ask to leave. You'll be medically discharged and get 100% disability. You're now getting a free $4k a month for the rest of your life. You've now escaped the rat race for life. You can now spend your entire 20s enjoying life to the fullest, cherishing and savoring every single day. You now have lifelong financial freedom. You now have the free time to date women and enjoy relationships. You can even afford a family and children. You're set for life."
Not doing that was the absolute worst mistake of my entire life. I'm now 35 years old applying for vet disability ten years late. Even if I get it, I won't be around for much longer due to severe chronic pain.
You don't realize how much not having a father affects you until you're 35 and wasted your entire life. Then you realize the massive difference a father's guidance brings. I had no clue what I was doing my entire life.