>>536741501
Careful.. wisepag might be listening...

Bennett: Sooo… Bakunawa… Not to alarm you or anything… but I might have figured out why your stomach nearly exploded last night.

Bakunawa: (voice calm, deep, and tired)
Speak.

Bennett:
You remember that weird street food you ate yesterday? The one near Aether’s stuff?

Bakunawa: (eyes narrowing)
The cold meat. Strange texture. Tasted of smoke and sorrow.

Bennett:
Yeah… turns out that was pagpag.

Bakunawa: (freezes completely. The wind dies. Even the moonlight seems to dim.)
You mean to say… I consumed pagpag?

Aether: (rushing over)
Wait.. what!?? did you just eat that? NOOOOO

Bakunawa: (choking all of a sudden)

Aether: I swear on the Seven—I didn’t know anything about this!

[From the treeline, Sigewinne and Baizhu emerge. They had saved Bakunawa the night before when he collapsed.]

Sigewinne: (glaring at Aether)
You almost killed a primordial dragon with street food.

Baizhu:
He was rejecting it on a spiritual level. The dish nearly unraveled his ether.

Bakunawa: (growling low)
You fed me sorrow as a side dish. You will answer for this.

[Next Day — Celestia Hall of Judgment. All Archons present. Bakunawa rests nearby, recovered but coiled in quiet fury. Aether kneels in silence.]

Furina:
You left pagpag out like a picnic side dish. To a dragon. I can’t believe I once thought you were charming.

Zhongli:
Even mistakes born from ignorance echo louder when made by the Traveler.

Raiden Ei:
The sentence… is exile.

Nahida: (softly)
You need time. And humility.

Mavuika:
Aether, I hereby declare that you will be banished to the Philippines. You will answer to no gods—only barangay captains.

Venti: (quietly, holding back laughter)
Eh? Philippines? that sounds fun.

Aether: (horrified)
No—please—I didn’t mean to—

[Mavuika flicks her wrist. Aether is instantly yanked into a swirling void]

Is your favourite character usable in Stygian?

>>533696565
Will the next Abyss be a pro-Cheld Abyss?

>>531191689
Childe
Mondstadt
The Wolf of Wall Street