I just want to love the world and love my fellow man. I genuinely find that there fewer things that could make me cry than seeing acts of mercy and shared moments of joy between two people who are extremely far away from each other culturally speaking. My heart has a very difficult time with dismissing all of this vastness as mere pointless folly or millions of paths to hellfire. It sounds all so kumbaya and shit, but it's an intense feeling bros. But I know just how silly and detached from reality it ultimately all seems to be.
Apparently the only two paths left are: trusting Plato and Plotinus' claims and believing them to have uncovered some sort of abstract all encompassing universal truth provided that they did have supernatural experiences within those mystery cults of old ; or going back to good old Dogma, even if I was hurt a little bit today by witnessing a group of young fundamentalists smugly making fun of a 19th century humanist' writings on having respect for men of all creeds and being open to having a dialogue about truth, because that's apparently too twee and not dangerous enough to fight against the greater Evil, both immediate and beyond. Sometimes I'm sincerely considering destroying my mental faculties so I can no longer be so neurotic and be at risk of contaminating other people with my little cutesy beliefs where my heart screams louder than my brain, and i'd stop putting more stock in the experiential than in reason.
>>24695252
It's a combination of the experiences being of the utmost intimacy and the religious corpus being of the utmost complexity (requiring learning multiple languages, the ludicrous length of the works, the historical records...etc) which is bound to drive one mad if they were to approach it fully.