I posted about this before but Im doing it again I dont care

>be me, ugly retarded femanon
>go entire 18 year long life without any boys having crushes on me or dating
>plan to just end it all in a few months since I see no point in living and no one loves me
>meet extremely cute boy online who is nearly my exact type and has a great personality
>everything goes well for a while
>he mentions being open to polyamory but only wants a female third
>instantly realize he doesnt reciprocate any of the love or respect I feel for him and ill never be enough

Its like god wants me to rope at this point