I'm a half italian half irish amerimutt who grew up on dairy products. At 29 years old I suddenly began shitting my pants after eating pizza. I took lactose tablets for a few months and it turned shitting into just being gassy. Stinky cheese farts. One time I farted while my wife was sleeping and she woke up from the smell and told me to fuck off. Now I drink Fairlife lactose free choccy milk.

pic related, it's me playing mlb