The Lifter's Prayer
Father Knut, who arts in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Gains.
Thy gym come, Thy PRs be done,
On Earth as it is in the squat rack.
Give us this day our 45-pound plates,
And forgive us our rest days,
As we forgive those who curl in the squat rack.
Lead us not into laziness,
But deliver us from cardio.
For thine is the power, the strength, and the glory of the pump,
Forever and ever.
Amen.