She taps her staff lightly, a gleam in her wide, innocent eyes, then giggles, a sound like tiny, tinkling bells.

"Oh my gosh, you guys, I just had the most fabulous idea! Like, totally, duh! I was just sitting here on my super cozy throne, thinking about how much Big Daddy Jagex loves it when we all, like, participate and stuff, you know? And how much he adores getting all those sparkly membership monies!"

She bats her eyelashes, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

"So, I thought, what if we just... helped all the new players? Like, gently, with my super awesome staff? Just a little boop on their heads, and suddenly they'll realize that the only thing they want to do is buy all the Premier Memberships! And subscribe to all the YouTubers! And vote in all the polls! And be, like, the best little RuneScape citizens ever!"

Her smile widens, becoming a little too fixed, a little too sweet.

"It's perfect! They'll be so happy, and Big Daddy Jagex will be so happy, and I'll be so happy because, like, everyone's just doing what they're supposed to do! It's not, like, evil or anything. It's just... encouragement! The very best kind. And who could say no to that? No one, obviously! Because they'll just love it!"

She twirls her staff, a dreamy, distant look in her eyes.

"Everyone will be playing together, all focused on making Big Daddy Jagex proud. And they'll never, ever want to leave! Isn't that just the cutest plan you've ever heard?"