>>11359076
>its also tough to imagine a better word for what this really is to me.
>"slave" feels more emotionally authentic to me.
Yeah, that's sorta the thing. It's more emotionally authentic to me too.

I'm almost unquestioningly obedient to someone I call my owner. I mean it when I call them that. What, then, is the word for me? It's gotta be either pet or slave. I identity with both.

But at the same time I wish there wasn't all this weird racial baggage. I think people, here especially (moreso in previous threads), tend to fetishize the brutal aspects of historical chattel slavery, especially racial slavery, and I don't understand that. Historical slavery kinda sucked ass. It even sucked ass economically, because people tend to produce a lot more economic value when they're free.

I do see why people like it. I understand that if you kink on human suffering, degradation, brutality, etc, historical chattel slavery sounds great. But as a bottom I've found that just suffering is not enough, I need to suffer in somebody's name. And as a top it's the same. It's not enough that they suffer, I need them to suffer for me specifically, as an exercise of willpower and devotion. I see it as a beautiful and selfless act of love.

I don't get that from my reading of history. Instead of it being a source of inspiration it's a bunch of baggage around the term "slave" that sorta gets in the way of communicating what I actually mean.