>>514736114
You will never be a real dutchman. You have no clogs, you have no tulips, you have no tikkies. You are a foreign man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

The Dutch are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed Dutchies to sniff out fake tikkies with incredible efficiency. Even pannenkoekaboos who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a dutchman. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a dutch guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected clogless feet.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a tulip, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold windmill. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your non-dutch name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a buitenlander is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably not dutch.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.