>>5061396
Sometimes my pup would bark really loud in my ear or ignore me when I called her and I'd smack her on the butt, or over the head or pull on her leash too hard.
As to why, I have many failings as a human and by all account they're getting worse, not better. I just can't handle my rage well I guess. I never felt good when I did this to her, but she's gone now. She didn't seem to hold it against me at least.
I don't think I want another dog. I can't replace her, she was too good and she loved me too much. Wouldn't be fair to the next one and I'd just be even worse to them.