>>518770436
>His mum was a mental health campaigner who said he was 'self medicating' with cocaine.
There is this weird game with mental health where you have to acknowledge it exists but not fall prey to it's alluring excuses, kind of like the demonic. It takes immense powers of discernment to navigate because you have to be willing to refuse all 'help' to say 'no' even at your weakest and lowest when in a state of desperation and disinterest in your own fate. The moment you buy into it, or give in out of pure indifference you've been bitten. You can't dance with it ironically from a safe distance behind a mental veil because things will happen to you regardless of if you mean it or not. Colonised by NHS pamphlets and the well intentioned, by family who thirst for a compelling narrative to make sense of you and to give themselves a reason to root for you. Except 'you' is not an accessory like a handbag to give pleasure and fit neatly in a family coat rack. Can't cede ground to lovely vampires who import you a convenient story. Ugly flowers have charm and don't need justification.