>>82400155
That's scary shit man. I haven't mixed benzos and alcohol myself but I've blacked out on each of them several times, particularly more recently. The anxiety the next day is unbelievable, not knowing what you might have said or done, but knowing that you probably embarrassed yourself.

I was planning on going totally sober in the near future but my girlfriend just dumped me so I'll probably embark on some kind of bender incorporating alcohol, benzos, coke, ket, and meaningless sex in various permutations. Long story short, she was basically using me for my money and status and had no real feelings for me for our entire 1 year+ relationship. Once another guy came along she cheated. I poured everything into this relationship and I'm left alone again.

I really respect that you're endeavoring to live a healthier lifestyle. I hope I can do that one day too. We're all gonna make it bros.