I was abused in my childhood and that's the worst thing that can happen to you.
I think in my case it's karmic, something I did in my past lives and I'm paying for it now. This also includes heartbreak.
It seems to me that the universe allows you to choose your punishment or form of payment, you use your free will as you used it to cause harm.
In my case, it's an exemplary punishment that hurts me to the core. I'm going to take this information with me to my next lives as a reminder of what can happen to me if I become an idiot.

But it still hurts. It hurts so much.