>>41232700
What you wished to say to him

“I wish you knew that silence wasn't consent, and absence wasn't indifference. I wish you understood that my distance was my defense mechanism, not a lack of care. That when I disappeared, it was because I didn't trust myself not to say too much -- or not to cry in front of you. That I hated needing you when I knew I couldn't have you.

I wish I told you I never forgot the smallest things you did - how you touched your sleeve when nervous, or how your tone changed when you were hiding something. I wish I told you that I saw you, and I still do, in moments that shouldn’t belong to you anymore.

I wish I had said: 'You hurt me more by pretending nothing was wrong.'
And also: 'I still remember the version of you that loved me, even if you don’t.'”