>>11357305
Honestly, respect. Not sure what carveouts actually exist to be taken advantage of though.
As for the public stuff, I've got mixed feelings. I used to feel weird walking in and out of dungeons in front of the normies, wearing my short skirts and collar and thighhighs and stripper boots, often holding crops and canes and whips and floggers and bamboo poles. But I've largely gotten over it. Just be confident and smile at them. Make eye contact. So what?
But at the same time, I think it's true that you shouldn't involve the normies in any play they haven't consented to. I do feel a little bad that they can't check a box that says they're okay with seeing me first. Then once we're inside, everyone definitely agrees, so everything is good. People can oggle me for as long as they want, and I don't mind.
I don't feel bad walking in and out of dungeons, because there's not much I can do about it. I even get off on it a little, and I don't feel bad about that either. But, you know, try to involve as few unconsenting normies as possible.
My friends and I have joked about starting a "transfem bdsm hacker commune" for years. Sadly nobody has pulled the trigger yet. Hard to commit to a location and convince everybody to move.
I think that, in practice, every bdsm practitioner has their own take on it and what it means to them. It's very often the case that it's different between partners, and that's okay. So I don't think you can say "this slaveowning polycule works the way I say it does." The entire point tends to be that people are free to pursue their own meaning with their partners, absent any imposed framework.
But being attentive and taking good emotional care of people, especially submissives, is good advice. For maintaining a polycule, or for normies. I think a lot of relationships would be significantly improved if people just snuggled more often.
