>be me
>go to norway
>see this guy selling garden gnomes
>"how much chief"
>800 euros a pop
>Imnotpayingthatforagardengnome.exe
>oh no my friend, they aren't gnomes, they're dwarves
>looks like a regular ceramic garden gnome to me
>well hurry up and buy one sos that you can prove me wrong yah?
>buy one because I already have enough black metal tshirts, need something for mom
>before he waddles off to the shitting log he says "oh yes, um... don't pour red bull on him you'll have a bad day"
>whatever dumbass
>go home
>present gnome to mom
>"ew this thing is ugly Anon, go put it in the garage..."
>proceed to put gnome in the garage
>little brother and friends are drinking near the fridge
>"what's that Anon?"
>it's a dwarf from norway
>"lol bullshit, looks like a garden gnome"
>he throws can of red bull at it
>suddenly in comes to life and grows a 5 foot cock and knocks my brother out and starts hate fucking his friend
>oh fuck it's a rape dwarf
>furiously pounding on door to the kitchen, look back and his cock is coming out Jimmy from down the street's eye
>the dog is scratching at the door and whining beside me
>notice he's done with Jimmy so I throw him the dog to buy some time
>mom finally opens the door
>"Anon what the fuck is going on?!"
>push past her and run upstairs for my AK
>when I get back it's already railing my mom
>it's laughing and pointing at me
>fuckit.peg
>unload on them both, mom wouldn't want to live with the shame
>It's still twitching when I run dry, so slap another mag home and dump on him again
>pretty sure he's dead.
>burn down the house with kerosene and say Tyrone did it
>never going to Norway again

I went on a few dates with an Indian girl to cope with being dumped. Thought she was a scam at first so I flaked on our first date.
Then she wanted to go out again.
Took her to dinner, she was kinda quiet and boring, but I kissed her goodnight so I figured it was a good start.
Next date she was an HOUR late. She made me stop and get her some "nips" or liquor. She'd gotten drinks at the restaurant in our first date too. I figured what the fuck I'll spend 5 dollars on tiny liquor bottles.
We made out in the woods a bit and I gripped her ass. She got really turned on when I picked her up and carried her over a puddle and kissed me very passionately.we didn't fuck tho
Next date we planned to go for a hike and fuck in the woods. She told me it was a fantasy of hers.
She was TWO HOURS late and desu I should've just left but sunk cost fallacy and I wanted pussy.
She came out and asked me to bring her to a hotel so she could say goodbye to some friends who were visiting. I brought her and she was in there for like ten minutes. Sketchy as fuck.
Then we went to the trail and she complained it was too dark (it wasn't) and I held in saying "bitch you're the one who was 2 fucking hours late"
So we drove around a bit then I parked somewhere and ate her pussy in the backseat and sucked her tits.
She wouldn't let me stick it in and said I needed to get an STD test first.
I lost most of the motivation at that point. She also insisted I get a hotel room for us to fuck. When I said STD test cost like 200 bucks she said "well you can give me the 200 dollsrs instead!! For the risk!!!"
At this point I slowly stopped replying as much. Pretty sure was a hooker which means I ate hooker pussy and probably have AIDS now. I should have just trusted my instincts she was a scammer like all jeets.

It's been a month and a half now and I'm wondering if I should text her again...