>>33677795
>wasting 4 years getting a useless gen Ed’s associates
if you don't have a plan, you are planning to fail. Old statement, current day. Wasting your time is your own fault pathetic retard lel.
>the idea of looking for and getting a job scares me so much and I hate it
everyone has to work, so that they can earn the right to eat- such is the human condition. What makes you so special faggot? Useless leech sack of shit.
>my dear mother is paying off my 1k credit card debt
wow, a real deadbeat. Not only can you not feed yourself, you put your burdens on your family? Unreal bro. Also, wait till you realize as a functioning adult in the USA, $1K is pocket change. That's close to what an average set of tires cost if you maintain any kind of car today. Most people can handle a couple thousand dollars in bills.
>I don’t deserve any of this
you have the capability to change all of this. You did this to yourself.
>part of me wants to pursue illustration on the side
its a hobby- not a skill people will pay for. If you really want to make money with that skill, actually make products people would buy. Use the art skills to make merch like shirts, stickers- begin service business like making graphics for cars. Begin a vehicle wrapping or window vinyl design service.
>anytime I do anything that makes me happy
nigga, understand being happy is not the default of life. So pursuing it is a waste of time. You should only enjoy happiness when you deserve it- otherwise, its fake as shit and only fleeting. You will feel happy, after working your ass off miserable the whole time. But for now, you don't deserve to feel happy yet. How could you? If your immediate family is suffering.
>I want to be a stronger person so badly
if you are serious, take yourself seriously. Do it like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk- some say they operate 80-100% efficiency. You are operating at 5% efficiency and the rest is 95% bullshit. Make it make sense.
