>>41006866
at the risk of sounding egotistical the circumstances of my life do unintentionally mirror occult/shamanic initiatory paths of more darker ascetic paths like the aghori just in a very warped and contemporary way.

It feels like a douchebag thing to self label yourself as one but in a very trashy degenerate way I hit all the checkmarks like
>fasting (unintentional)
>asceticism/poverty
>hardcore excesses
>trial by imbibing unpleasant things
>mental and physical extremes
>androgyny
>legit paranormal experiences
>living a liminal fringe lifestyle
>naturally talented at mesmerism and can parse synchronicity, have whatever gift schizos like PKD and Lovecraft had in terms of tapping into higher concepts. Extremely intuitive in an uncontrolled way
>weird auspicious upbringing
>some sort of higher force seems to protect me from bad events/people
>drawn to the darker things in life (not in an edgelord way), unironically engage in demonology, have used ritual magic to achieve financial prosperity etc.

I just wanted to play video games man