>>33823946
well thanks for sharing brother and desu I do these hobbies yes to meet a lady, but it also helps me in becoming a better person
I believe the two are interconnected
to quote maslow's hierarchy of needs (pic related)
having love and intimacy is part of reaching self actualization, which is feeling whole, like you're "you" and you express yourself.
I think that you'll always be lacking if you neglect either love OR belonging, the hobbies helps me feel a sense of belonging because I have my people in my hobbies who I love (and I don't have family where I live), and the gf will help me to feel love. Both of which are needed to TRULY reach self-actualization.
So I agree with you that you need to do so much to get a lady nowadays, but I also never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to reach the point I was in when my ex of 5 years (who I moved countries for) cheated on me and left me completely alone.
therefore I will do my best to not drop my hobbies, and remain an interesting and attractive person even when I do find my future gf. Cuz I don't want to settle, I want to have a good relationship. I want to feel like someone's first pick, I want to feel like that person loves me truly, I want to know that if that person leaves - I have the support network to support me through that process. That way the relationship will be more healthy.
Two attractive people who CHOOSE to be with each other is way fucking better than two people who feel like they need each other out of necessity.
And honestly girls fall in the "attractive and unbothered" category way more often in my experience, so fuck that shit, I'm going to become attractive to someone, then stay attractive. And if she decides to be an unattractive and needy bitch that's fine - but I won't let go of my attractiveness factor, because I want to be desired and know I have options and know that losing her doesn't mean the end of the world.
I am fully disillusioned and I will not become complacent again.