>got the "attention from females doesn't mean she likes you" drilled into my head
>constantly self-sabotage
It's not looking too good for me. I met up with an acquaintance from high school recently. Alt girl, nose ring, nice tits, but had normal girl interests and actually had an intellectual side and didn't just consume caffeine 24/7 and watch horror movies while scrolling tiktok. She was a lesbian then but I thought maybe she became bi or pan and I had a shot with her. We facetimed one night and she was talking about dyeing her hair with a big ass lesbian flag behind her on her wall. I was a little disappointed but ultimately didn't expect much from hitting her up out of the blue.
Two days later, we're texting and she tells me she wants to send me nudes and wants me to come over. I just played the whole thing off as sort of a joke. Told her sounds good, we should definitely hang out some more. Spaghetti dropped. After that, she started texting me less and less until finally she ghosted me.
Probably the worst mistake I've ever made, and I'm still bummed out about it. Trying to keep my hopes up because I have no friends and have been becoming isolated from my family who are also getting stressed and I feel like I just make things worse with my bullshit and ineptitude.
And no, I never got those nudes or sex. We did go out a couple times, to the mall and dinner. All firsts for me, and if I'm lucky enough to experience it again I know it will never be the same. Fuck I miss having someone actually be interested in me and want to be around me.

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