i made a thread but there were no good answers and it really is dire i feel like cutting and I really need coping mechanisms for this because while I've always been this way its gotten so bad recently I can't even look at a woman without wanting to put a gun to my head. Honestly I feel like the Sylvia Plath quote except inverted, my life has been stunted by the dreary duties and expectations and notions of masculinity; and any feminine joy or hippieness or (god help me for being so AGP) lesbians and "queer" culture triggers suicidal ideation. There's just a void of envy and desire where there should be a person.

I really need coping mechanisms for this because while I've always been this way its gotten so bad recently I can't even look at a woman without wanting to put a gun to my head. Honestly I feel like the Sylvia Plath quote except inverted, my life has been stunted by the dreary duties and expectations and notions of masculinity and any feminine joy or hippieness or (god help me for being so AGP) lesbians and "queer" culture. There's just a void of envy and desire where there should be a person.