>>6324961
“I ain’t goin’ near that monster, I’ll tell ya THAT for free.”

“Well we have to get past them SOMEHOW, Zith-Zi. Be reasonable.”

“I could lead us up the mountain. As a Disciple of the True Fey, I am at home in all Mother Nature’s wild places.”

“See, the kid knows what’s up! Steers us wide an’ clear of those UNnatural-ass gryphons.”

“HIKING? In THESE robes? And look at how STEEP it is. I refuse! It simply WILL not do.”

“Well who fuckin’ asked you ta come, huh?!”

“YOU did!”

“Uh, hey guys?”

“Did I? Way I ‘member it, your ass just volunteered.”

“ZZ? Testa?”

“You asked IMPLICITLY, you ungrateful little—”

An exasperated Chang finally clears his throat, politely but firmly putting an end to the hushed-but-harsh exchange of barbs, and says: “Miladies, I believe Lady Yosef is trying to attract your attention.”

You give him a grateful look, and then turn to the other eyes glowing faintly in the dusk, all focused on you—Zith-Zi’s green, Testa’s blue ones, and Khorine’s orangish-brown. Two more shimmer at the edge of perception: Jhaan the gyr-fairy, phased half-in and half-out of the Prime Material Plane, awaiting instructions. Poor Chang alone lacks the eyes to see clearly in the shadows—one more reason to avoid a trek along the night-blackened Shieldwall’s steepest and least-steady goat-paths.

“Lady Yosef?” repeats Testa.

“Y-yeah,” you say, “It’s, like, this thing I’ve been tryin’ out, ya know? ’Cause me ’n ZZ—”

“Mama Zi got herself knocked up by some slummin’ noble, turns out,” Zith-Zi quickly interjects. “No biggie. Probably happens all the time, when ya think about it.”

Testa wrinkles her nose. “A nobleman and a GOBLIN? I don’t know about THAT…”

Before this can provoke another fight—as you know damn well it will—you launch into your pitch:

“Well, either way, it happened the once, an’ now that I’m all purified ’n whatever, maybe it’ll be a bit more believable?”

“Well, there’s one problem with that,” Testa points out. “The House of Yosef is defunct, twice over. EVERYONE knows that. It was QUITE a big deal—first that dreadful business with the murders of Lord Isaac Yosef and his family, and THEN that Sir Heinrich Yosef was still alive, and then he went MISSING and…”

Testa’s eyes widen, and her glossy lavender lips form a little ‘o’.

“Oh my gods, THE GREEN KNIGHT is your FATHER??”

You exchange a look with ZZ, who shrugs. He’s not, of course, but it’s certainly a more auspicious paternity than a shapeshifted snake-lady and her pet succubus who maybe might have been the one to do all those 'dreadful murders'. At the very least, it’s much more useful for your current purposes.

“Uh… Yeah!”