You'll be locked into a chastity harness and chained to a treadmill in a locked room with a small bottle of lubricant and Gold Bond powder to prevent death by chafing, no other source of amusement. You'll receive food and water rations after every six hours of walking on the treadmill, and if you manage to move faster, you'll get protein snacks or fresh fruit every two and a half hours. You will stay there, locked inside this hellish torment, until your body weight reaches 160 lb, or 72.5 kilos. Then, you will be released back into the world.

Should you ever return to being this fat again, a specialized team will be deployed to tranq your bloated flesh, load you into a cargo helicopter to fly out to sea, and roll you out the cargo door while video streaming so the rest of society can watch the cannonball splash.

Now quit fucking around, fuck off, go eat a salad, and stop wasting the finite space on this planet just to have room for a second buffet under your skin.