My life is a mess. With my work, I have little time to dedicate to myself.
It seems like something is in my head telling me I need to read books to find something I'm missing. I've read three books this year, something I've never read before, but I still haven't found what I'm supposedly looking for, but it seems like I'm on the right path.

A lot of things I do feel like they've already happened (like reading books), or taking a trip, or even talking to a random person at work. As soon as I do them, something pops into my head as if it had already happened. It's crazy. I see that many people report that they've considered taking their own life. I've thought about it too, but something came to mind that I've done this in past lives and it doesn't solve anything, because it just resets your life. At some point, you'll be born again and you'll go through the same thing. It becomes a bit of a waste of time. What you really need to do is find your purpose in life and face it head-on. I know it's hard to think about facing it in these situations, but the answer is in your own mind; it wants to tell you something.

I see a psychologist every week and take some medication to control it, but I know that one day I'll need to stop taking the medication and face my true purpose in this life.

(Sorry for the English, I used the translator)