It's funny to read everything with a Wisconsin accent.

>tired of my gf
>want to break up but can't afford to move out so I can't initiate
>would be better if she moved out instead but she only would if she wanted to break up with me
>figure the best chance of that happening if she meets someone else
>sit her down and tell her I want an open relationship
>she's incredibly upset and starts crying and screaming at me
>tell her it's ok, she can have the open relationship, I'll stay monogamous
>she breaks down even harder and starts asking what she did to make me not care about her anymore
>ask her "of course I care about you that's why I'm doing this, if you offered this to me I'd be delighted"
>she looks completely shattered and now won't talk to me

Are these creatures impossible to understand in your country?