>>512439504
>negative all of the time
Well I think that's the problem
I understand that you aren't in the best of times or state of mind, but you can't be endlessly negative. That does you no favors. It's true, you can't say the same thing over and over. You yourself even admit this. Video games are a fun distraction, it gives you something ELSE to talk about. I'm sure people on discord will be more receptive if you talk about the topics or games at hand instead.
Putting positivity out gets positivity back in. You shouldn't be surprised that putting negativity out only receives negativity back. Sometimes the positivity needs to come from inside. Even if you can't find any, even if you can't be positive to yourself, you can still be positive to others. And then when they are positive to you, maybe you'll find some inside of you as well.
A change of outlooks and interaction could help.
Regardless, I hope for your safety and that you feel better soon. Hang in there, the darkest times are when you need to be the strongest. Keep on keeping on.
All the best, Gershon.