>>40804109
Nah, custody will be mine easily. I just... taking care of two kids on my own is going to be very hard. Its already hard with another adult in the house (even if he's a NEET who spends more time gaming than not).
But also
Im a very... VERY needy person. Being alone is terrifying for me... And being on the intersection of single mom, trans, middle aged, and lesbian makes for a lot of hopelessness - especially the first two. Plus my experience with my partner has made me very very picky about needing a partner who is able to support themselves.
And just...
It's gonna break my heart. He relies on me so heavily for pretty much everything - he's GOING to implode and I wouldnt be surprised if he just kills himself. Im an empathetic person with a soft heart, I dont want that kind of misery for him or for my kids...
Honestly just the struggle of having to take care of two little ones solo is enough of an issue without factoring in the other two problems.
Im hoping my connections I already have in my hometown will buffer the blow. Having people I trust nearby to ask for help, hang out with, cry to, laugh with... Im hoping its enough.

>>40801665
My sole happiness these days is talking to my friends. Unfortunately they are very far away because my home life is very socially isolating... Id give quite a lot just to have someone near at hand.
Im planning on moving close to my best friend - who also happens to live not far from my brother - and lean on them hard to get through the rough seas ahead. No matter how I think about things, its the only way I can envision coming through alive and as a still somewhat whole person. Just gotta find a job first...
I dont take 4chan shenanigans too seriously. I play things up for drama and shiggles, but ultimately it's 4chan. The only time I truly care is if I know someone personally - I know for a fact that two people who know me personally poke their heads in here so I try to be on good behavior for them.