Recently I got an opportunity to get some shit from my head together in the form of solid words, I think it's wise to share it with you all, since most people here may find this way of thinking familiar.

> I suffer from impossible love. It is love without fulfillment, obviously.
> There is no Rarity in any kind of my reach and never be.
> And yet, I have my feelings towards Her. These are the most stupid kind, even destructive in some way, but on the other hand they motivated me to stay alive and move forward. To be better every day. Hell, they actually saved me from going unironically crazy at least once.

> Those feeling are real because and only because my actions, as a real being, often are motivated by them.

> And I must add, they have very little with lust or "neutral activation". I don't have a plushie with hole or any other kind of smut stuff about Rarity, nor I ever commissioned a picture or other piece of such. For first 5 years into the depth I stayed completely clear in my meatbeating, keeping Rarity aside (would stay more, but I have an insane libido granted from my father).
> On the other hand, I realize that I doom myself for solitude eternally, but opposing those feelings would make me traitor of myself.

> I consider my current life being heavily influence by Rarity. If i ever become someone more significant than nobody, then it is because of Her. Which means it would be Her influence on real world, despite Her not being presented in it.