>>29344418
as a 32 year old dude that struggled similarly at your age(jesus I'm old), I'd say that getting life changing advice on 4chan is probably not a good idea. You need a psychologist to map out your brain top to bottom to help you make that decision.
Still, I'd say don't stress yourself over only having these feelings when you're horny or anything like that. Your sexuality is as an important part of your psyche as anything else. Also, I've seen a few trans women that "fetishized" their feelings in a similar way. As they transitioned and managed to get more of that femininity into their every day life, it stopped being such a polarizing feeling for them and the fetishization stopped.
