I'm so fucked up. Gooned last night. Spent all day today gooning and downloading porn. I even fucking impulse bought a fleshlight and had it delivered same-day via Amazon Prime. I didn't know it was possible to fall off the wagon this hard without the use of stimulants. To make matters worse, I start a new job in two days. No more of this. I'm deleting the porn, I'm throwing away the fleshlight. I just want to be normal. This is my, last escape.