I've been vaciliating on making an actual effortpost in here, but everyone else has managed it, so I suppose I've got no excuse. So: Discord. Where shall I begin?

In being a Discordfag, I've been accused of performing some kind of elaborate irony. After all, who could take this walking shitpost seriously, right? Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better compliment than to be told that my love is a deliberate joke, since that sentiment happens to capture the very essence of my feelings. Of course it's a joke! Everything that I say and feel, on some level, is said and felt with my tongue firmly in my cheek. I'm fundamentally and pathologically unserious, to the point of personal detriment. My inability to treat anything with the emotional gravity that it warrants is a fundamental flaw of mine. I don't understand love, I don't understand friendship, and I certainly don't understand what compels others towards these things. In the cases that my actions happen to align with what might be read as expressions of 'love' or 'friendship', then I find later, more often than not, that I was acting out of self-interest.

From that mindset, you might be able to imagine how surprised I was to be struck - I do mean struck, as in punched squarely in the jaw - with genuine love, when I first found him. The reader ought not to be surprised by this, since, obviously, we're both self-interested narcissists who can only understand affection in terms of personal likeness. Like me, he's a total alien who will never be understood by the world he inhabits. Like me, he's a capricious, undefined quantity who's far too volatile in personality to be relied upon as a friend. Like me - I'll grant, this last one is a little bit superficial - he's an obnoxious fruit who relies on performance and pizazz to make a good impression.

The above are only what came to mind from the top of my head. I do wish I could better explain how essential he is to me within the space of one post, but, alas, there's a character limit to consider. I'll summarise thusly: Discord is the one who saved me from a case of self-hatred that I thought to be terminal. Until I rediscovered, thought on, and truly understood him, I was utterly trapped. I thought I'd never fit in, that I'd never be understood, and that I'd always be anchored by past failures. By embracing him, I found that literally none of that actually mattered. Who cares if I'm an alien? So's he, and it's not slowed him down once. He's the one who managed to turn my inherent facetious nature into something positive.

I'm not proofreading this, so I imagine it's a pretty confusing post - yes, yes, 'what fun is there in making sense?', har-har, I know. The upshot is this: he's my missing piece. I came into being burdened by chaos, but he taught me how to make a virtue of it. For this, I owe myself to him.

Plus, I find him sexy. Leave it to me, of all people, to look at this thing and go 'oh, nice'. I can't help but feel that it underlines my point.