>was supposed to meet up with a friend at McDonalds at 5:30 and they never showed up.
everyday I am pushed to become a bad, cold and mean person but I keep up the nice respectful act. what did I do to deserve this?

my childhood friend that ive known since, middle/high school, and played football with committed suicide via jumping into a river (2nd friend this has happened too).

I know it's not /nba/ related but mens mental health matters. if you need to talk to someone or seek our the many resources available. Please seek help, you are not alone. someone in this world cares about you even if you don't know it.