I don't particularly know the best way to word what this phenomenon exactly is, I'm heavily confused to the wants or deeper motivations of myself for seemingly no reason, but since I was around 13 years old I've had a crush on Marie from the game Splatoon, I've always been a massive loner for the majority of my life due to my family's living situation and being homeschooled and isolated through out most of my developing years, but because of it I feel totally incapable of loving actual real women or really anyone at all, it feels the only thing I can love or crush on in some way is just this character, I have tried to force myself to fall in love with various different women I've met and sometimes dated over the years and have failed at every occasion, I can never really look past maybe their bodies and looks to appreciate or love any sort of personality they may have, but for some reason I feel the vain illusion of being able to for this fictional character, I hate that I am this way but do not believe it is possible to change now, this all sounds very pathetic in a full conscious layout of these psychological flaws but I feel that this character was there for me during times of extreme loneliness and now I cannot move on to love real women or anyone at all, not sure if this could be fixed but I decided I would try to at least find some sort of void to potentially scream into for help or resolution on this problem, thanks to whoever may respond in advance.