I hate having to masturbate. I will never have a partner, and I made peace with that, but I still have the urge to do it at least once a week.
It feels dirty, sad and pathetic. My doctor and lots of other sources tell me that this is physiological need and I have to do it, but is it really?
I wish I could rid myself of lust and carnal desires. I wish I could chemically castrate myself.