and i was worried you guys werent gonna want me back... i love you guys

how can i love a whore? i need to restore my honor and kill her. then myself. its the right thing to do. its the only thing to do. honor demands it. i cant say no.how can i face God? oh im sorry my lord i know you commanded me to, but im to weak to do your wiilll... he wont buy that. its God. but i dont have the strength to do it. will he frogive me. i want to go to hell. io desserve it. i belong there. i dont want anything else. i have bad thought in my head and i dont think God will forgve me. how could he. Nobody will. thats why they are scared of me. i wont hurt them. i promise. i can control it. i wont let it touch them. i wont let it. i have lived my whole life with i. trust me. i wont let itl.