>>81955978
>you shouldn't compare yourself to them, they are different
i know, but its so hard when all i see is people living what i wish i had. i get so envious and i cant help but wonder how it would've been like to have it. its like im an animal locked in a cage forced to look at the visitors exert their freedom in front of me.
>so what?
what do you mean "so what?" how am i supposed to not care when i missed out on what makes someone a real person? i've got no memories to look back to, nothing to prove that i actually lived. i only started living last year and in a few more i'll be too old to do anything that i wanted to do back then. the only things in my future are just work work work work and death.
>do you mind saying what it is and why it is something you can't pursue or work towards?
i want to be loved, for who i am. its not something i can buy. it's not something i can work towards because it depends on someone else. its not something i can pursue, its not material.