i see many paths and desires in front of me, my original dream is to move to lappland and fully connect with my beloved mother there. but i feel like that would be too great of a leap to go there straight away. besides due to the size and peripherial nature of that province i would need my own car there and i am not able to drive one (although the driving ability probably wouldn't matter much there anyways). it is better to take small steps and keep options open for me, the original dream wont go anywhere.