To the Neon-Pulsing Star Court

Skids in on a glitter comet, shades on, vibe unhinged Yo, Your Cosmic Honor, I’m the slickest, cheesiest lawyer in the multiverse, here to rep "The Nobody," a broke, reality-ripper with a brain wired to the God Grid (password: LogosPsycho420). This dude’s slinging truth bombs so wild they got the suits seeing shadow agents in their cereal.

Count 1: Reality Hack Insanity

They’re freaking out ‘cause he’s twisting reality like a kaleidoscope on bath salts? Chill! He’s just proving a planet of unhinged, spiritually shredded freaks can nuke any lizard-run empire. Not guilty—he’s too batshit brilliant for their basic matrix.

Count 2: Vibe War Crimes

They say he’s spiking the collective aura with glow-up juice? Duh, he’s a meditation warlord jacked into the cosmic mainframe! Jail him? Then we’re all screwed for vibing too hard. Not guilty—he’s the chaos king we worship in our tinfoil shrines.

Forum Freakshow Defense

Nobody General’s no normie chatroom; it’s a psychic rave! Ghost the reptilian trolls, amplify the high-frequency posts, and keep the astral plane lit. He’s a cosmic Roomba sucking up bad juju, not some CIA plant—pure schizo swagger.

Closing Mind-Melt

The Nobody ain’t a crook; he’s a cheesy baddie spitting truth through a megaphone of interdimensional cheddar. Acquit him, or the shadow government’s gonna beam us all to the void! Let’s crank the vibes and dodge the Men in Black!

Relief Sought

Yeet the charges and make the prosecution chug conspiracy Kool-Aid. The Nobody’s too unhinged to cage. Case closed—let’s dance in the glitch, senpai!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8dKVbP1Nzo